


you are my center

by keizh



Category: Lobotomy Corporation (Video Game)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-09-01 08:18:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20255056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keizh/pseuds/keizh
Summary: carmen graces binah with her company yet again





	you are my center

**Author's Note:**

> carbinah is real and valid and i can't believe the first fic i wrote for them is nsfw help me  
also sorry, i can't be bothered to capitalize at the moment. maybe later it's like 2 am let me live

it's not the first time that carmen has graced binah with her form, strangely transparent and bringing with her just the slightest change in depth to the silence surrounding them. at this point, the sudden appearance merely brings the mildest trace of a smile on binah's face as the woman approaches.

"i suppose, i am doing worse than i thought today if you're here."

at least, binah surmises as much from the fact that carmen did tend to arise whenever binah took to staring at her solid form for solace, floating endlessly in that ever so special liquid beneath. except now she is not staring down at carmen as she usually was during such sudden visitations. was her mind really suffering so horribly that she need not even give carmen a visible sign to summon her? that is, of course, if there was any link at all between carmen's visits and binah's mental state.

of course, there's still no response and binah does not stall in trying to get one.

"is it fun to watch me suffer so?"

there is a smile on the other woman's face and binah doesn't know what she is expecting at this point, peering stoically back. sometimes, it was like this, where carmen said nothing at all and yet binah would continue talking uselessly, desperately even, in some foolish hope for even the slightest acknowledgement that her words managed to break through the wall this time. however, there were also times where there was no such great divide between the physical and spiritual realm; when carmen could speak freely to binah, touch her even - and binah finds herself greatly craving this as she stares at the apparition before her.

"it's twisted to give me the illusion of company and yet not grant me one word, knowing exactly of the weight i bear," binah presses further. "you do feel it, don't you?"

at that, she takes the chance to step forward and close the remaining gap between them, refraining from trying to grab the other as she knows it will do nothing but bring disappointment to her own self. however, she does lean in as close as she possibly can to carmen's face, careful not to ruin the illusion of carmen’s form.

"the despair that you know so well,” a pause as binah imagines carmen’s posture stifferning in just the slightest. “the despair that calls you back from beyond... yes, misery does love company after all."

and there it is - her voice, but binah cannot make out anything beyond mere gentle tones that tease her sense of hearing.

“...……..….…. l……. y….”

she shuts her eyes momentarily, trying her hardest to make sense of the somewhat garbled, distant speech.

“......... n……..?”

it’s still not enough.

“i can’t make out what you’re saying,” binah admits in frustration.

she opens her eyes again only to see that carmen is no longer there and binah whips herself around in a slight panic, eyes searching frantically for her figure. unfortunately, she is nowhere to be found and binah feels like her heart is being torn out of her chest at the realization. it’s ridiculous, this feeling, as she has no heart and yet her brain continues to simulate such awful sensations within her artificial body.

“are you still there? … carmen…”

binah feels silly for bothering to voice her name at all, but she cannot help it. she cannot help but wish that carmen can hear her calling for her. names did tend to hold such power to them, didn’t they? but perhaps even this would not be enough to connect them today.

as binah begins to slowly accept the fact that their meeting was simply not meant to be this time, there’s a strange static sensation that rises to the back of her head and lingers at her neck. it begins to creep onto her ears and binah doesn’t dare move for fear of risking total cessation of the pleasant tingling. binah closes her eyes, feeling very warm and hazy all of a sudden.

“binah,” her voice is so soothing and smooth, but the silken clarity rapidly dissolves as soon as she repeats the name again. “binah, today, i……… c…. y……… ere.”

the tingling sensation is still there though and even though binah cannot quite understand what she’s saying, the current situation spoke for itself quite clearly regardless.

“please,” binah whispers and she inwardly curses the foolish, senseless way in which she longs for a woman she can’t even see.

“you…….. t…….. ly……”

“please…”

at that, there is a shushing sound and binah can feel the prickling feeling at her skin inching well past her ears, to her cheeks and then to her lips. instinctively, binah opens her mouth just enough that the sensation starts to enter and it makes binah’s brain go absolutely haywire as the electric feeling invades. it feels nice, but the tingling grows so numbingly unbearable that binah closes her mouth for a moment of relief. however, the sensation remains in place as binah swallows desperately in some feeble attempt to dull the feeling for just a second, just long enough to get her brain back in order.

“c-carmen…” binah manages to call breathily. “you… you’re-”

before binah can continue though, the static sensation jolts through to her core in one rattling, deafening shock and binah gasps loudly as she is brought to her knees immediately. body trembling and down on all fours, binah tries to steady herself enough that she doesn’t just crumple to the floor entirely. she is certain the only reason she doesn’t is because carmen’s touch left right after the reaction, presumably to give her a moment of reprise - how merciful.

“............ re?”

slowly binah adjusts her position, sitting back on her legs as the normal, familiar pulsations of her body return and she regains full control of herself. she finds it quite appalling and disgusting how quickly her resolve could weaken by a mere touch, by such terribly human desires, and yet binah could not find the will to deny herself the indulgence. there was nothing else that made her feel like this after all and it had been far too long since the last time.

“yes, give me more,” binah knows she is being greedy, but it is not as though carmen will deny her.

there’s a light chuckle that binah isn’t sure if she just imagined or not, but the sensation quickly returns to wipe the doubt from her mind. it travels down from her neck to trace along her clavicles and binah leans back further, wishing that there was a solid human form behind her to rest upon. instead, there is only the wall behind her that is stiff and cold, but it suffices enough to maintain the illusion. with binah settled in, carmen’s touch immediately trickles down the center of her being, over her stomach where binah begins to squirm in idle anticipation and finally down between her legs where the prickling sensation lingers, ebbing over her in gentle waves.

already, binah’s breathing is thick with desire as the back of her head presses against the wall behind her, hands awkwardly gripping at the floor as carmen teases entry. it was always a strange phenomenon to experience such stimulation with nothing there to see; no sign of movement in the fabric of binah’s clothes nor any sound that came with such actions, just the awful pronounced awareness of binah’s own coarse breathing. or rather, the obnoxious whirring of her own mechanical innards working to keep her system from overheating.

the rumbling reverberates throughout her entire being so much that it momentarily overrides the pleasant sensation and binah’s doubt returns, “you’re still here… right?”

the sensation is definitely still there lightly pricking at her, but binah cannot quiet the childish fear in her mind of being abandoned without warning during such a time even if it truly was just her own mind creating some strange otherworldly hallucination as this. it’s not a fear she has ever had really - to be left alone, but to feel so exposed and yet unexposed stirs forth such irrational thoughts. since when did she care whether someone or something left her without a word? it didn’t matter, it shouldn’t matter-

“y…. i’m….. l…… ere……w…….. ou…… id?”

binah laughs softly, both out of pure incredulity at her own weakness and from being so terribly grateful to be able to hear carmen’s response even though it’s not very clear.

“i can hear you,” this is the closest to some kind of affirmation that binah can grant to carmen in return. “i can still feel you…”

the sensation intensifies as it begins to drive into her and binah ceases her thoughts once more as ecstasy runs through her. her breathing quickens as the electrifying pricks shift against her, within her and binah spreads her legs in the slightest as though that would have any greater effect. the feeling is simply intoxicating even without the feeling of solidity within her; the mild vibrations are enough to drive her into a mindless, lusty haze and no longer is her labored breathing as apparent, dulled by the overwhelming warmth blanketing her brain.

“gh, carmen… carm, nn…. ah...”

“binah,” carmen’s voice nips at her ear and it sends a pleasing shiver down binah’s spine.

as carmen reaches deeper into her, a moan escapes binah as she pushes her body further against the wall behind her again. she is going so deep and if it were real, binah is sure it would be painful at this point, but it’s not. however, the depth is so unfamiliar that binah writhes restlessly, gasping loudly as the insurmountable feeling builds within her, rapidly. binah’s hands rise in a futile attempt to grip onto carmen, but of course she only grasps at empty air so instead, she takes to tousling her own hair and gripping at the wall behind her. the way carmen’s touch rises and falls within her makes her feel like she is being flipped upside down and it’s completely maddening how good it feels to have her unfurl her from the inside like this, deeper than any physical being could ever manage. perhaps to any other regular person, the sensation would be sickening and too much to bear, but for binah, the bizarre feeling brings nothing but pure orgasmic fervor.

“..... re?”

there’s no response from binah though, other than her own uneven breaths as her body trembles uncontrollably as her climax approaches. binah’s muscles tighten in heated eagerness and carmen takes the chance to push her over the edge in an instant. the tingling sensation remains moving within her, but there is another that begins suddenly at the side of her head and extends deep into her brain. the shock that comes with it is just as powerful as the one that brought her to her knees initially and binah loses complete control of her being in that moment, wobbling to the floor as her muscles continue to twitch with every stroke that carmen gives her without reprise. everything feels like jello as the tingling touch circles around her brain, every minor prod paired with the deep sensation between her legs sending an inexplicably satisfying tremor through her entire being.

and each tremor stirs in her mind pleasures long forgotten, vague and unimportant memories that were tossed into the abyss along with her human body and binah can feel herself swirling amongst them, groaning into the floor in an engrossed passion as carmen’s touch rips straight through her again, mercilessly.

“ah,,,, gk….. c- ah…..” the meaningless drivel flows from binah’s mouth and binah can almost sense the way carmen is looking down at her.

of course, it’s pitiful, isn’t it? to be so vulnerable and desperate for engagement that binah has to rely upon the hallucinations of her own mind to fill the gaps. of course, it’s not carmen looking down at her, but her own self in perverse mirth at what a slovenly sight she has become.

almost as though sensing the sudden anguish bubbling inside her, the electric sensation digs further into her brain and binah feels like the world is spinning away from her.

“i’m still here,” carmen’s voice calls to her with such clarity that binah begins to wonder if she is just dreaming now.

“you’re, ah….. hhn, here…” binah mumbles back, world returning once more as the cool sensation of the floor registers within her brain along with the mild buzzing pleasure between her thighs.

“is that enough?”

“carmen…”

“to cure your pervasive loneliness?”

as though to drive the point home further, the sensation thrusts into her again and binah gasps desperately as the motion repeats until her body again stiffens in anticipation as the exhilaration mounts to a critical peak and proceeds to descend slowly, mind awash in fuzzy satisfaction yet again.

the tingling feeling leaves her entirely and there’s a strange vacant feeling that sits heavily upon her back as the stark realization sets in that carmen will leave her soon. her body is still weak from the stimulation and all binah can do is gaze silently at ground-level. she expects that she can’t see carmen’s figure still, but in fact she can see her shoes. rolling over slightly, she can fully make out the form peering down at her with that smile on her face.

“well?”

“... you know very well that it’s not enough,” binah sounds weary, whether it’s from the activities just prior or the assumed expectation that such meaningless acts would ever quench the deeper thirst in her heart, she is not entirely sure.

“for now.”

“for today,” binah retorts and it garners a small laugh from carmen.

“until you find yourself in despair again…”

“if it’s despair, then wouldn’t you stay with me always?”

“you have said it yourself before, haven’t you? a despair that only you can bear...”

“so i am of too strong a will to keep you here?”

“so it seems, binah… but misery does love company and c….. ny lo…..s…….ore, ri...?”

and this brings a sordid smile to binah’s face. even with her broken words, she can fill the gaps herself as she always does, as she always has.

and with a single blink, carmen is no longer there; leaving binah all alone with the burdening silence of her own metal casing and the dubious memory of almost human sensations.


End file.
